monday art: why english majors drink jack on the rocks

by brandon as blog arting — brandon Tue 11 Apr 2006 12:26 am

Okay, it’s technically not “Monday Art” anymore, but to me it’s Monday and since I’m dealing with an Audience of One that’s gonna be sufficient. Project two. Illustrate the latest entry of a blog picked at random. Yep, that’s it. Whatever comes up. Except if it’s a linkspam site – those I skip. So, first entry, what do I get?

Well, crap. They took it down. Hmm. I won’t link to the blog, because I figure they took it down for a reason, but I’ve already drawn the picture, so here was the text:

Men of the 21st century reward women of the following female size combination:

* Muscle – small
* Intelligence – medium to large
* Money – X-large
* Obedience – ???

Men, mark your female size for “obedience.” Would you put up with a smart, bitchy, defiant woman, as long as she has a small waist, good intelligence, and money?

Interesting. Author was an English major, by the way. So how should I answer this? Like so!

wap.

Trick question! The correct answer is that there is no way a smart, bitchy, defiant woman with a small waist, good intelligence, and cash money is going to put up with me! That’s the answer! My decision is irrelevant! I have no agency here! I– wait.

I think I’m missing something. Allow me to amend my response.

Ahem. “There is no way a smart, bitchy, defiant woman with a small waist, good intelligence, and cash money is going to put up with me!” Not right now! Not where my life is.

There we go. Amended for accuracy an’ stark truth. Happy Tuesday, everyone! On the plus side I just made friends with a kitty that wandered past my back door. Animals are better ‘n people anyway. You laugh now but once you’re done listening to cable news three hours a day for the next week you’ll come around to my way of thinking. Oh yeah. The bitter taste of victory is mine! Happy Tuesday.

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