TAN-toons

by brandon as Uncategorized — brandon Mon 12 Jun 2006 9:46 pm

This is for those of you at The Assimilated Negro who’ve been giving me requests for more TAN-toons. I told you I’d do four pictures and here they finally are. One of them took longer than I thought and when you see it you’ll be able to guess which one. For those, what, three of you stumbling across this post wondering what I’m talking about, I’ve been bouncing around art ideas with the proprietor of The Assimilated Negro (go read it! It’s funny and interesting!) for the past month or so with an eye on some sort of collaborative project in the future. That part is still under wraps. So here we go:

it's about that time for a cracka crackdown

First off we have art for the periodic TAN feature “Cracka Crackdown,” the latest and really the most horrifying installment of which can be found here. As you can see I really got into it, which’ll happen to anybody after just 15 minutes of cable news. Doubt me? Try it, then come back for another look, you’ll see.

Next we have the “I Don’t Give A Fuck” shirt illustrated. For those of you wandering by, read all about it here.

look, I just don't give a fuck.

This is probably something a little more meaningful in NYC than it is here in Portland, but I know what he’s talking about here, ’cause this is like 80 percent of my wardrobe, and at various points in my life it’s been much worse believe me. ‘Course, the fact that I’m in Portland and I’m not inked shifts me a good 10% towards the IGAF column no matter what so hey.

Okay, these next two I feel compelled to warn my four or five readers not coming here from The Assimilated Negro about because they contain cartoon naked nudeness previously not featured on this site and so they may be Not Safe For Work. As a precaution, please kill your boss and possibly your IT department before viewing these images. Once that’s done, scroll down aways to see exposed human flesh!!echo echo echo

 

 

 

 

 

 

First we have “Dear Average-Sized Penis.

expectations vary.

Look, I don’t have anything to add here. If you still can’t tell what this is about, read the post I linked to!

Aaand okay. I nearly flinched at this one. It’s a pretty wild subject to draw, it is the second weirdest thing I’ve drawn (I really should post about #1 sometime) and it presents thorny, thorny problems of comic art timing. But I’ve got a billing to live up to. So here it is. Presenting, a TAN experience: Worst Sex Ever.

you can see how it gets worse

If you’re looking at this fresh, and you have no idea what in God’s name this is about, I reeeeally can’t blame you. But lucky you, here is some reading material: Sex on Shrooms – part one, two, and (where this scene comes in) three. It… it’s a funny story. Really! It’s funny.

TAN readers: when I’m talking about “thorny problems of comic timing” here is what the deal is. Drawing the, uh, climax of this scene is gonna be pretty much straight-up gross. You need comic tension, right? So I had sketched out an “after” picture, and then, having looked at it a while, sketched out a “before” picture. Which is this one. That’s what I went with. Now that I look back on it, the picture itself is not that risqué – look, I’m still shaking off six years of doing full-time art for first-graders, it’s not that easy – I just hope it generates enough tension. I think I probably should have drawn her sillier. Oh well. Hope you guys enjoy the art.

4 Comments »

  1. Comment by Sarah — June 13, 2006 at 5:51 am

    Wow. these are great!!! I’ve been reading TAN for a few months now, and I think you guys should definitely work together. Someone mentioned the boondocks on his site, there’s plenty of room in the market for another “urban” toon.

  2. Comment by S — June 13, 2006 at 5:54 am

    Haha these are hilarious. Very well done. I love it!

  3. Comment by Laurie — June 13, 2006 at 6:10 am

    What fun, Brandon! These are awesome! I had no idea how you could possibly do sex on ‘shrooms, but you did it! Impressive. The TAN Fans are diggin’ it!

  4. Comment by Carl — June 13, 2006 at 11:54 am

    yeah, very interesting interpretation of the shroom story. very funny. and the naked pics are classic.

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